I knew I was different from all of my cousins and I
just didn’t know how to explain it. My other cousin at the age of
10 asked me if I knew how to kiss;and I said i knew
because these girl was well versed in that department.
She mocked me and I was adamant in proving to
her that I know how to kiss. My perky ten years old
lips reached for hers and like riding a bicycle our lips
danced. The butterflies I felt in my tummy dont even
come close to explaining what I felt but I had to lie and
said it was just a basic kiss. For the next 3 years, my
cousin and I would occasionally rendezvous and Lord
knows we moved from just kissing to you know what
and at some point my grandmother almost caught us.
By the age of 13 I discovered the word lesbian
and I wanted nothing to do with it because the little
research I did proved to me that homosexuality was a
sin and all the consequences that came with claiming
the label were frightening. I know, there were positive
sides but my mind wouldn’t let me look at that.
At some point I almost got suspended for “dating”
because the sexuality crises had me convinced that
dating a boy would somewhat make me straight. At
14 i was unfortunately raped but this is not the time
for the story (there will be an entire chapter on it,trust
me) and apparently that was an act of correction by
someone who has heard I may be playing for the same
team.. So that lead to PTSD,anxiety and other mental
health illnesses (story for another day).
need more than one post to get to know
me so tune in and we unravel the story of me