For the longest i tried to make sense of my life and it
was all just surreal. All my responses were forever in
defense mode and this brought in the anxiety because
sweetheart, the trust issues I had for this world kept increasing.
To this day I dont even trust myself because
yes,forgiving myself seems to be a futile process.
I kept trying to tell myself that I am not at myself
to have been diagnosed with bipolar because they
honestly drove me off the edge. So when the doctor
told me about my anger problems and how they
making me all bipolar’ish,I smiled and said to him
“I heard bipolar people have the strength of 7 men,
at least now I can always fight him off if he tried to do
it again”. I hysterically laughed after saying that because
I wanted,no I needed my sick humor to come to my
rescue but look at me now.
This one is a new one.Learnt about it late last year
when I got booked into a psychiatric hospital because
yes breathing gets harder on most days than others.
I think I should make a quick note that I cant help but
feel like this one is a misdiagnosis because it came
just after I told my psychologist that I want a gender
reassignment everything. He said, “perhaps you want
to change this body because so much has happened
to it” and honestly that statement carried so much
even if I didn’t want to admit it. (Gender talks in the
next post,I promise).

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